Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
this is an emotional support booty call
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
