idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Welp...herpes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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