Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
