the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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