after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
