does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
