she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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