well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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