Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
