I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I AM VODKA MAN
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
