he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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