I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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