I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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