So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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