I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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