The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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