You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
