I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
