I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
