just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
