Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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