On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
