This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
