oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it's like iHOP with fire
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
