Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
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you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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