Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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