If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Everclear isn't food dammit
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
