Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
high people should be assigned attendants
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize