Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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