Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize