It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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