While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
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