Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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