My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
