I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
