What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
