She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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