yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
