Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
