I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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