just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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