WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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