you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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