saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
