she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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