Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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