a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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