Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
