Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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