Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
