chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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