My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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