Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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