we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
