Where are you?
In a non slutty way
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
