I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
