Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
