..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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