i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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