another moral hangover. fuck.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
