Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
