More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
