I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
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