We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
