Buhtt sex?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize