And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
